Abuja Women Who Marry Younger Men Protest: “They Call Us Sugar Mummies”

The discrimination against women marrying
younger men in the society has led some
women in the Federal Capital city of Abuja
to protest.
Speaking to the News Agency of Nigeria
in Abuja, some women in the FCT, on
Thursday, decried discrimination in
Nigeria against women marrying
younger men.
Some of the women alleged that they had
been discriminated, judged and labelled
“sugar mummy” for their marriage to
men they are older than.
A businesswoman identified as Esther
David, said she was five years older than
her husband, who is also into the same
provision business with her.
She said her decision to marry her
husband was borne out of love,
admiration and respect she had for him,
and not because she was desperate to get
married as alleged by some persons.
“Our society tends to judge women
negatively for marrying younger men,
even if that relationship was borne out
of love and respect for each other.
“But the same society sees nothing wrong
if a man marries someone that he is old
enough to even be her grandfather,” she
lamented.
According to her, she faced a lot of
challenges from her in-laws due to the
age difference before she was accepted
as his wife, despite performing the
traditional, Christian and even the court
wedding.
A mother of two, Bose Ade, said even
though she was eight years older than
her husband, whom she has been
married to for over a decade, her being
older had not affected the love, affection
and respect they had for each other.
“At first, it was very difficult for me to
accept his marriage proposal because I
was far older than him with over eight
years.
“But I was later convinced by his
persistence and support from his family
that he was not dissuaded by our age
differences,” Mrs. Ade said.
However, she added that even though she
was accepted by her in-laws, she still
faces discrimination from some of his
relatives and in the neighbourhood they
reside in.
According to her, she ignores all the
subtle attacks on her person, urging
other women that are facing similar
challenges to ignore gossip and
concentrate on building their homes.
“I don’t have problem with in-laws, it is
just some distant relatives of his and
people in our area who still gossip and
call me names like old woman, and all
sorts because he looks younger than I do.
“I ignore them and make sure I exhibit
love and affection for my husband just
to spite them.”
However, Fatima Musa, an unemployed
graduate said she cannot marry a
younger man because the society would
see her as “desperate’’ and she may not
get the respect she deserves from him.
“Women naturally look older than men.
So if you marry someone younger in age,
one might end up looking like his mother
or elder sister than his wife, especially
when one starts bearing children.”
On his part, Idris Samaila said there was
nothing wrong in a woman marrying a
man she is older than, as long as mutual
trust, respect and love exists between
them.
“Age is just a figure that people put so
much emphasis on. It does not matter if
a woman is older than her husband or
the husband is older than the wife as it is
commonly practiced in our society.
“The main issue we should be concerned
about is how to build our homes within
the tenets of our religious believes, as
well as sharing love and understanding,”
Mr. Samaila posited.
He said the fear of marrying a younger
man by some women who feel the age
difference might bring disrespect
between them, was uncalled for, as
respect was earned.
“The claim that marrying a younger man
would make him disrespectful to one in
the future is a flimsy excuse, because I
have seen instances where a matured
man marries a woman like his
daughter’s age mate and she still does
not have respect for him.’’
He said Nigerians should encourage the
sanctity of marriage within the religious
or traditional belief so as to reduce the
rate of illegitimate children in the
society.

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